my not so slow living man


It’s the last day of winter today, a momentous day before the spark of spring. It always feels like a very significant day to me, marking the end of a glorious hibernation, before the blissful slide towards summertime. Today also marks the very final, absolutely final, did I say final day of my partners third, and hopefully FINAL university degree. I’ve only been on the scene for one and a half of his sojourns into academia, but the half a one was a PhD, which also marked my first serious attempt at editing. Note to self, never volunteer to edit a 50,000 word paper on mine seismicity (if you can possibly help it), even if you are trying to woo the author…

Well when I say he’s finished, he has an exam on Saturday, but today was his actual last full contact day. I feel really, really proud of him for finishing, and for doing it well. He isn’t an average achiever, despite my encouragement for him to be so! It was never simply a matter of ‘just getting through’, it’s been high distinctions every step of the way, nothing less. As if working away wasn’t enough, spending all of his spare time studying has stretched the friendship quite a lot. I have parented solo so much over the past two and a half years, that I am sure there are people in my world who think we are a fatherless family…but now it is done, and my heart is bursting with pride for my not so slow living man, who does exist.

When I think about his choices, our choices, I can see now that if he hadn’t chosen this life of working away and studying like a trojan, that my path would not have evolved as it has. I wouldn’t have stopped work because it was too difficult to actually get there! I wouldn’t have realised how stressed I was, I wouldn’t have had the time or the energy to change how I was thinking, what we were eating, how we were living…I wouldn’t have started writing. Everything would have been so different. I would most likely have been on the same trajectory I was on over a year ago, stressed and grumpy, and I think that my life, my health and the lives of everyone in my family would have somehow been less.

Life is very complex. My not so slow living man drives me mad in so many ways, and his life completely counters a lot of the principles I follow for myself and the boys. But he loves what we do, and somehow does his best to slip in and out of his hectic world and into ours, sometimes appreciating the differences, sometimes not. Being the yin to my yang. Being the best he can be, and role modelling that to our beautiful boys.

Linked with Essentially Jess for IBOT


12 thoughts on “my not so slow living man

  1. Beautiful, Michelle. I hope not so slow-living-man winds down now after his feat of achievement . Big congrats – a PHD isn’t to be sneezed at – in fact, I don’t think one acquires one by a slow-living-adventure! 🙂

  2. Sounds like a really long journey about to take on another change. I hope he does as well as he hopes in his exam. I can relate about the fatherless family feeling, I feel like that often. My hubby is an app developer and we had decided years ago that now was when he has to have a good ole crack at it, so I mostly look after the kids so he can work. #teamIBOT

  3. This is a beautiful post about your husband. I think sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the negative aspect of our differences so it’s great that you can see the positive side of it too.

  4. Your pride is beaming through in this post. Congrats to your husband and well done to you for being such a supportive wife.

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